I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
