That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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