he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
