My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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