i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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