D3 body, D1 cock
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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