remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Your cock deserves a montage
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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