He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
