This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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