Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
