just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
