I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
