two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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