i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your cock deserves a montage
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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