I'm drive I can fine osifer
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
