She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
