Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
did you just send me my own nude
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
