my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
