the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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