Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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