They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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