from now on my penis is your penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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