OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do herpes really smell.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
