He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
