shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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