at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
