So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
