Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
