she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
