32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Houston, we have a blender
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
