I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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