my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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