Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i permit you to call me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
