when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
