were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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