you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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