Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
