stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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