ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
