thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
