Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
