Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
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