Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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