I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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