erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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