a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
