He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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