super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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