He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
