How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize