I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
