Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
