Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
