it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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