I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
