We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
