i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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