Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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