I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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