dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
