come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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