You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
