I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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