Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
